Charlemagne (r. 768-814), the king and emperor of the Franks, was put in a tough position when a bishop who was a friend and confidant of his wife, Hildegard (d. 783), became the subject of scrutiny for lavishly overspending on dubious religious relics. Charlemagne, hoping to chastise the bishop, concocted a scheme that would highlight the folly of the bishop’s actions and serve as a teaching moment for the realm. In furtherance of his plan, Charlemagne made a deal with a Jewish merchant who had international trade connections and had a familiarity with the relic trade. This merchant, under Charlemagne’s protection and direction, was tasked with approaching the problematic bishop with an offer to sell him a relic, which, unbeknownst to the bishop, would be counterfeit. With the permission of the king, the merchant was also allowed to charge extortionate prices for the holy hoax.
Charlemagne’s accomplice put a lot of effort into fabricating the fake relic that he would try to sell to the bishop. The merchant, as the story goes, caught a local mouse and had the unfortunate creature preserved with taxidermy. The stuffed mouse was then perfumed with spices, decorated with dyes or paints, and it may have been augmented so that it would not look like the average rodent. With the counterfeit curio in hand, and an exotic tale in mind to match it, the merchant set off to sell it to the bishop. Notker the Stammerer (c. 840-912), a monk and biographer, recorded the story, keeping the bishop’s name anonymous to spare the man from further embarrassment. Notker wrote:
“So the Jew caught an ordinary house mouse and stuffed it with various spices, and then offered it for sale to the bishop, saying that he had brought from Judea this most precious animal, never seen before. The bishop was filled with such joy at this, and offered the Jew three pounds of silver for the precious article. Then the Jew said: ‘A fine price indeed for so precious an article! I had rather throw it into the depths of the sea than let any man have it at so cheap and shameful a price.’ So the bishop, who had much wealth and never gave anything to the poor, offered him ten pounds of silver for the incomparable treasure. But the cunning man, with pretend indignation, replied: ‘The God of Abraham forbid that I should thus lose the fruit of my labour and transport.’ Then the greedy cleric, all eager for the prize offered him twenty pounds. But the Jew in high dudgeon wrapped up the mouse in the most costly silk and began to leave. Then the bishop, as thoroughly taken in as he deserved to be, offered a full measure of silver to obtain the priceless object. And so at last the merchant yielded to his entreaties with much show of reluctance” (Notker the Stammerer, The Deeds of Charlemagne, book 1, chapter 16).
With the mouse relinquished and the silver collected, the merchant returned to Charlemagne with the proceeds of the sale. After hearing the colorful debriefing, Charlemagne decided a stern reprimand of the bishop was in order. Even more, the king decided to rebuff the bishop in public. Notker the Stammerer continued the tale, writing, “After a few days the king called together all the bishops and nobles of that province to his assembly; and, after many needful matters had been considered, he ordered all that silver to be brought and placed in the middle of the palace. Then thus he spoke and said: ‘Fathers and guardians, bishops of our Church, you ought to minister to the poor…One of you has given a Jew all this silver for a painted mouse’” (The Deeds of Charlemagne, book 1, chapter 16). The guilty bishop, knowing his purchase was discovered, threw himself on the ground before the king and begged for forgiveness. Charlemagne verbally lashed the bishop with a few more phrases of wise criticism, but he ultimately let the man go without any further corrective measures. The public shaming was punishment enough.
Written by C. Keith Hansley
Picture Attribution: (Painting by Georg Sturm depicting Charlemagne and Einhard, on the west wall in the entrance hall, [Public Domain] via Rijksmuseum, Wikimedia and Europeana).
Sources:
- Two Lives of Charlemagne, by Einhard and Notker the Stammer, translated by David Ganz. New York: Penguin Classics, 2008.
